Wizard Candy
by SoulWrite123
Summary: Harry's not allowed to have wizard candy; it's just a big no-no for him. But when he finds himself unattended by his friends, will he willingly eat the candy? And what will happen if he does? Just a short little one-shot.


**Wizard Candy**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the songs mentioned in here.**

Gryffindor was having a party.

There wasn't any reason for the party, really; they were in high spirits and just decided to party. It was around Christmas, so everyone was feeling a little wound up. Professor McGonagall had even showed up at the party, stopping by long enough to grab a few handfuls from the bucket of candy Fred and George had managed to smuggle past Filch. Then she put a finger to her lips, indicating that no one was to say a word about her being there, and left.

They took that as a sign of permission and the party got wilder. The whole common room was stuffed to the brim with Gryffindors, and even a few Hufflepuff that snuck past the Fat Lady (which wasn't hard because she was extremely drunk). The music was so loud that you could hear it in the dungeons, were the Slytherin were groaning and putting whatever they could find on their ears to try and muffle the noise.

Harry was having a great time at the party. Around nine, Ron had hastily run upstairs for half an hour because he accidently ate one of Fred and George's latest pranks: the Tongue Twister. The name speaks for itself. Hermione had spent the whole night sitting in the corner, trying to finish homework (not her homework, of course; she had finished hers ages ago. She was now working on Harry's Potion essay that was due Wednesday). With both of them distracted, Harry seized his chance and attacked the bucket of candy.

Normally, he's wasn't allowed to have wizard candy in any shape, size, or form because of how hyper it made him. If he ate even a sliver of candy, his whole body system would go out of whack and he'd be up with energy for days before finally crashing at the worst time possible (For example, during a Transformation test right as he's turning Ron into a frog). But tonight, he didn't care. He wanted candy and he was going to get it.

He held the candy in his hands, inwardly debating on whether or not he should do it. His friends would be extremely mad when they found out, Harry realized. But, granted, he would be too out of it to care, which would be a plus. But, then again, he might make a fool of himself and regret it in the morning. Harry sighed and went to put the candy down. At the last second, though, he changed his mind and shoved the whole handful in his mouth. He grinned widely to himself, his teeth now coated in chocolate. This party was going to be fun...

* * *

><p>Sometime around one in the morning, Ron finally found Harry again. And instantly wished he hadn't.<p>

Harry had his arm slung around Oliver Wood's shoulder, laughing at something Angelina Johnson was saying. As Ron watched, Harry excused himself and turned to walk away but tripped over his own feet and fell flat on the floor. Oliver laughed so hard he started crying. Angelina shot him a glare before kneeling down and helping Harry to stand up.

"Are you okay, Harry?" she asked, steadying him when he started to fall again.

"Oh, yeah. Never better!" Harry said, smiling at her.

"Neville butter? What the heck is that?" Angelina asked, her eyebrows wrinkling in confusion.

Harry shook his head. "Neh-ver beh-ter," he said, annunciating each sound.

Angelina scoffed. "I'm not deaf, Harry. You don't have to make me feel stupid because I misunderstood you."

Harry's eyes widened. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but no sound came out. He stood there for a second, staring at Angelina with his mouth wide open. Angelina looked around the room, trying to find an escape from this awkward moment. Harry closed his mouth and opened it again, taking a deep breath-

-and letting out an earsplitting scream. Angelina shrunk away from him, covering her ears, her eyes wide with fear. Several people looked over at Harry and tried to figure out if he was joking around or if he was suddenly mentally ill.

Ron blushed and hid his face. "That's not my best friend over there," he muttered to no one in particular. He looked up again and saw Fred pushing his way through the crowd. He stopped in front of Harry and looked him up and down. Suddenly, he started laughing.

"That is the best imitation of my mother's music I have ever heard," he exclaimed slapping Harry on the back.

Harry stumbled from the impact (even though it was barely a tap) and swallowed his scream, making a strange gurgling sound. Fred laughed harder, and soon everyone else started laughing too. Ron took the chance to pull Harry away from the crowd and into a quiet corner. He pushed Harry down on a chair and stood in front of him, glaring at him and putting his hands on his hips like his mother did whenever he was in trouble.

"What on _earth_ is wrong with you?"

Harry blinked and looked up at Ron. "Nothing. I'm just having some fun."

"Fun? Is that what you call it? Fun?"

"Um, yeah."

"Well, it looks to me like you're making an idiot of yourself."

Harry snorted and wagged his finger at Ron. "You're just jealous that you weren't there to see it all."

"What? That's not true! I wasn't-"

"Aww, is wittle Ronnie jealous of Harry Potter?" Harry interrupted, pinching Ron's cheek in between his fingers. Ron slapped Harry's hand, which caused him to jump and pull it away, cradling it against his chest.

Ron looked crossly at Harry, trying to figure out why he was acting this way. Suddenly, Ron realized what had happened and almost slapped himself. He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger. "Okay," he said, looking up at Harry. "How many pieces of candy have you had tonight?"

Harry laughed and said snottily, "Who are you? My mother? Well, in case you didn't realize, my mother is DEAD! So take that, you stupid impersonator! Ha! You can't beat Harry Potter at-" Ron slapped his hand over Harry's mouth.

"_How many pieces of candy have you had tonight_?" Ron asked sharply, speaking between clenched teeth.

Harry shrank away from the angry looking tomato-like-thing. "I dunno," he mumbled, looking down at his shoes. "A couple…pounds…"

Ron straightened up. "Alright, I think you've had enough. Let's get you upstairs to bed."

"NO!" Harry yelled. "I don't WANT to go to bed!"

Ron glared at Harry again. He pointed his finger and said harshly, "You listen to me, mister. You are going to bed whether you like or not!" He poked Harry in the nose, who growled viciously.

Ron laughed coldly. "Ha! I see you don't like being poked in the nose. Well…I'm going to do it again!" Before Harry could protest, Ron started poking Harry in the nose repeatedly.

"Stop it!" Harry said angrily. He swatted Ron's hand away, but he kept coming back. Harry growled again and suddenly leaped on Ron, knocking him down to the floor. Harry started punching Ron in the stomach. Ron started shrieking and struggling to get Harry off of him.

"Help!" Ron yelled. "Get this crazy freak off of me!"

"Did you just call me a freak?" Harry roared, his spit flying everywhere. Ron wrinkled his nose and tried not to gag. "Oh no you didn't, Tomato Head!"

Ron gasped. "Tomato Head? Oh you're going to get it now!" With a grunt, he pushed Harry onto his back and started tickling Harry.

Harry was laughing and crying at the same time. "Stop!" he gasped, giggling and squirming. "Stop, please!"

Ron smirked and sat on Harry's chest. "Will you go upstairs to bed now?"

Harry nodded, trying to breathe with Ron's heavy body on his chest. Ron stood up and helped Harry get up as well. Then he dragged Harry up the stairs and into their dorm room. Harry walked sluggishly over to his bed, where he dropped like a sack of potatoes.

Ron rolled his eyes and got into his own bed, turning off the light and closing his eyes. He got comfortable under the blanket and hoped he would dream of himself and Hermione in a meadow, running towards each other, ready to embrace and proclaim their love-

-did he say Hermione? He meant hamburgers. Hamburgers were his true love. Not silly old Hermione. Not stubborn, smart, cute, sweet, funny, beautiful, wonderful Hermione.

Ron opened his eyes, looking nervously back in forth. He hoped that no one downstairs knew about Occlumency, because then he would be in _big_ trouble. When he didn't hear feet pounding up the stairs coming to laugh at him and make fun of his crush, Ron relaxed back into his pillow and closed his eyes, now feeling extremely tired.

Suddenly, Harry sat up in bed and started singing. "Easy come, easy go, that's just how you live. OH, take take take it all, but you never give. Should've known you was trouble from the first kiss, had your eyes wide open. Why were they open?"

"Harry. Shut. UP!" Ron yelled, throwing his pillow at Harry's head.

The pillow bounced off of Harry's face and landed on the floor. He looked down at the pillow and back at Ron before jumping onto it and sliding across the floor, singing even louder. "GAVE YOU ALL I HAD AND YOU TOSSED IN THE TRASH, TOSSED IT IN THE TRASH YOU DID! TO GIVE ME ALL YOUR LOVE IS ALL I EVER ASKED 'CAUSE WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND…take it away, Ron!"

"What? Are you bloody insane? Oh, wait, I already know the answer to that," Ron said, pushing Harry off of him, who was shoving a sock/microphone in Ron's face.

"C'mon! Live a little!" Harry yelled, jumping up and down across the room.

"No!" Ron protested, pulling the blankets over his head. "I'm going to sleep."

Harry marched over to Ron's bedside and brandished his wand. He leaned close and hissed in Ron's ear, "Don't make me use the Imperius Curse on you."

Ron swallowed thickly. "Let's sing a song!" he said, his voice squeaking slightly. He pushed back the blankets and stood up, looking nervously at Harry, who was grinning with excitement. Harry eagerly handed him the sock, which Ron accepted gingerly between two fingers, holding it out at arm's length. "Thank…you?"

"Now sing!" Harry said, throwing his arms in the air.

Ron swallowed again and cleared his throat. "What you don't understand is-"

"No, no, no, no, no! You're doing it wrong! Louder!" Harry said, shaking his head in disgust.

"Well, Harry, no offense, but I kind of don't want to…"

"But it's really fun if you do it right! Here, I'll sing with you!" Harry offered. "Ready?"

"No."

"Here we go!"

"WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND IS I'D CATCH A GRENADE FOR YA! THROW MY HAND ON A BLADE FOR YA! I'D JUMP IN FRONT OF A TRAIN FOR YA! YOU KNOW I'D DO ANYTHING FOR YA! OH OH OH OH! I WOULD GO THROUGH ALL THIS PAIN! TAKE A BULLET STRAIGHT THROUGH MY BRAIN. YES I WOULD DIE FOR YA BABY, BUT YOU WON'T DO THE SAME!"

Harry and Ron were now laughing and dancing around the room, doing any moves they could think of. "Now…take it away Ron!" Harry yelled, twirling and pointing at Ron, who immediately started to break dance.

Then he opened his mouth and belted it out. "BLACK, BLACK, BLACK AND BLUE. BEAT ME 'TIL I'M NUMB. TELL THE DEVIL I SAID 'HEY' WHEN YOU GET BACK TO WHERE YOU'RE FROM. MAD WOMAN, BAD WOMAN, THAT'S JUST WHAT YOU ARE. YEAH, YOU'LL SMILE IN MY FACE THEN RIP THE BRAKES OUT MY CAR. GAVE YOU ALL I HAD AND TOSSED IT IN THE TRASH, TOSSED IT IN THE TRASH, YES YOU DID! TO GIVE ME ALL YOUR LOVE IS ALL I EVER ASKED 'CAUSE WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND IS I'D CATCH A GRENADE FOR YA!"

Ron continued to sing, but he stopped break dancing. Instead, he ran over to Harry and grabbed his hand, and the two of them started salsa dancing. Harry grabbed the sock and held it in his mouth like a rose while Ron continued to scream the lyrics. When he got to the bridge, Harry spit out the sock and they both started singing.

"IF MY BODY WAS ON FIRE…OOH, YOU'D WATCH ME BURN DOWN IN FLAMES. YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME, YOU'RE A LIAR! 'CAUSE YOU NEVER, EVER, EVER DID BABY! BUT DARLING I'D STILL CATCH A GRENADE FOR YA! THROW MY HAND ON A BLADE FOR YA! I'D JUMP IN FRONT OF A TRAIN FOR YA. YOU KNOW I'D DO ANYTHING FOR YA! I WOULD GO THROUGH ALL THIS PAIN. TAKE A BULLET STRAIGHT THROUGH MY BRAIN! YES, I WOULD DIE FOR YOU BABY. BUT YOU WON'T DO THE SAME!"

They ended with a big finish, where Ron twirled Harry about six times before grabbing him and dipping him. Then they both jumped up on their beds and played air guitars until the song was over. They stood there, gasping for breath, laughing at how much fun they had, when Ron suddenly looked up. He saw all of his friends, and his brothers and sister, standing in the doorway. Their mouths had all fallen open, and they were staring at Ron and Harry with shock.

Ron blushed and jumped down from his bed, scratching his head nervously. "Hey, g-guys," he stuttered. "H-how much of that did y-you see?"

George, his eyes still wide, said in a flat tone, "Most of it." Everyone nodded simultaneously.

Harry, who still hadn't noticed the crowd in the doorway, burst out laughing. "Ron, are you talking to yourself? Oh, that's hilarious. I would be sooooo embarrassed if someone overheard me doing that!" Harry stumbled towards Ron and threw his arm over Ron's shoulder, leaning heavily against him.

Ron just stood there, frozen with embarrassment. Everyone else stood still too, except they were frozen in shock.

"Is Harry Potter drunk?" someone asked from the back of the crowd.

Ron shook his head vigorously. "No! Not at all!"

"…Are you sure?"

Ron nodded, gulping down air. He could feel his cheeks turning red. Harry certainly wasn't helping, as he was flailing around like a drunk.

Suddenly, Hermione gasped. "Did you give Harry wizard candy?" she shrieked.

"No! It wasn't me! He did this to himself!"

"Unbelievable!" Hermione said before storming away.

Ron sighed and looked at his friend, who was sliding farther and farther towards the ground. Harry looked up at Ron and laughed.

"I love you, man," he said before making a sound that was somewhere between a snore and a snort. Then he collapsed on the floor, sucking his thumb.

Ginny stared at Harry, her eyes getting bigger. "I thought I was the only one who still did that!" she said excitedly.

A girl from Hufflepuff turned and looked at Ginny. "You still suck your thumb?" she asked, her voice high and squeaky.

Ginny's cheeks turned red and she looked nervously around the room. "What? Did I say that out loud? I was totally kidding…" she trailed off, trying to think of something to say that would redeem herself. "Harry Potter's hot."

The girl squealed. "Oh, I totally agree!" All of the girls then proceeded to head back to the common room, talking and giggling about how cute Harry was. The boys turned and left to, shaking their heads at Ron's stupidity. Everyone knows Harry can't have wizard candy. Why would Ron do something like that to his own best friend?

"There's always at least one idiot in every family," Fred said, nudging George. Everyone laughed and soon forgot about Harry and Ron.

Upstairs, Harry was fast asleep on the floor, still sucking his thumb. Ron sighed and climbed into bed, sighing happily at finally being able to lie down. He closed his eyes and gently drifted towards sleep.

"HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!"

"Not again!" Ron groaned.

**The End**


End file.
